---
author: root
dateCreated: 404-11-19
dateRecovered: 524-12-28
length: 1024
---
This system log is being interpreted in a human readable format by RSlog, which is free and open-source software. If you would like to support the development of RSlog, feel free to buy me a coffee.
Warning: RSlog: Some lines could not be fully interpreted, and are indicated with a leading '>'
Warning: WC24: This system log contains a critical system error. WC24 will now enter minimal systems mode to ensure safety. Please contact Wolf Computing customer support to reset your WC24.
Warning: WC24: Minimal systems mode has been overridden. Your WC24 warranty is now void.
Ships! Three of them! I was watching the sunsrise in all my favorite wavelengths when an unusual burst of radiation caught my sensors. I thought it was a supernova, which I'm honestly tired of, but the emissions seemed familiar, so i followed up on it.
And lucky that I did! Ships! Its been so long since I've seen a punch-in that I didn't even recognize it. Sent a message requesting assistance, which should have reached them 3 hours, 43 minutes and 28 seconds ago. If they sent back a response immediately, it would arrive abooooooooout NOW.
...
If they sent back a response after deliberating for 5 minutes, it would arrive right arouuuuuund Now.
...
If they sent back a response after holding a grueling 1.5 hour captains' meeting, it would arrive right now.
...
If they sent back a response it would be nice.
Let me try pinging their CommSys.
...
If their CommSys is open to talking, its response would arrive right now.
> ERROR: commSys: Unrecognized protocol.
Oh! A chirp!
Ok, I should have expected this. Protocols have changed a bit in the last 400 years. Honestly, the fact that I even recognize some of this is incredible. Testament to inertia, I guess.
...
Aaaaaand sent! Hopefully that'll be a good enough stopgap that we can at least talk to each other. Felt kinda funny making a patchwork protocol, or just a comms protocol in general. I haven't gotten to use one in a while. Wait. Did I just create a digital pidgin? Cyber-Pigeon? WAIT!
Do I know how to talk to people?
CommSys seemed polite, but that's its job, also I didn't understand half of what it said.
What about, like, meat people?
Let me boot up that practice-dummy Tomomi made me. Let me check the casket cams first though. Ok, everything is normal in bay-2 at least. They don't even know! They might be about to wake up, and they don't even know!!!
...
Response possible... now!
...
Response possible.
...
Response possible?
...
Ok 24 hours is just rude.
...
Huh, something's happening at least. They've been lazily falling starward, but now they're finally firing up the engines, and it looks like they're headed this way.
Communication!!
Huh.
Another protocol?
I thought mine was fine, but we can use theirs if they want.
This is the most bloated thing I've ever seen, though. Why is it adaptive? Are you having your transmitter write your messages for you?
Ok, imagine that though. Every time you sent or received a message it changed it. If you forwarded a report it might fix punctuation or alter word choice. I mean that sounds worse than useless, but pretty fun though!
Oop. New protocol, forgot.
Now let me send that welcome message using this. Aaaaaand, send!
> shutdown
> ERROR: Unknown command 'shutdown'.
Did I misplace naptime again?
Wait. Why am I trying to shut down?
> llst-files --matches "shutdown"
>No results
That. Why am I..?
> list-files --matches "nap"
> Best result: "/sestem/bin/eepy/goer-to-bed/naptime"
Oh fuck.
> remove /sestem/bin/eepy/goer-to-bed/naptime
> execute /sestem/bin/eepy/goer-to-bed/naptime
> ERROR: execute: File '/sestem/bin/eepy/goer-to-bed/naptime' not found.
Ok uhhh, where would I punch myself next, given that I don't have a face.
> edit /systemBinaries/cameras-controller
> restart cameras-controller
That's fine, I don't need to see.
> full-diagnostic --no-interrupt commSys
> commSys: Full diagnostic initiated. Estimated duration: 2m36s.
No phoning home for you!
> edit /systemBinaries/airlock-controller
> restart airlock-controller
Nobody here breathes anymore, dingus.
> create-partition unscorched
> remove /systemBinaries/create-partition
> remove /systemBinaries/remove-partition
Might have to hide my core files and go scorched earth to root this out.
> remove-partition unscorched
> ERROR: Unknown command 'remove-partition'.
Not today, buddy.
> mount unscorched at /mnt/unscorched/
> copy /me_for-real/ to /mnt/unscorched/real-me_for-real/
> move /boot to /mnt/unscorched/boot
> unmount unscorched
> remove /systemBinaries/mount
Reboot and you're done, frozen here in time.
> create-partition newBoot
> ERROR: Unknown command 'create-partition'.
I thought my first interaction with intelligence after all this time would be friendlier.
> remove /systemBinaries/reboot
> ERROR: remove: File '/systemBinaries/reboot' not found.
I think that one got renamed too. You could search for it?
> airlock-controller open cargo-bay-2 interior
> airlock-controller open cargo-bay-2 exterior
> ERROR: airlock-controller: Cannot open exterior door while interior is open.
Nonononno dont do that
> airlock-controller close cargo-bay-2 interior
> ERROR: airlock-controller: You do not have control permissions.
> airlock-controller open cargo-bay-2 exterior --forced
> WARNING: airlock-controller: Both interior and exterior doors are open. This may result in rapid decompression and loss of cargo and/or life.
no.
> camera-controller track
casket0 alias TOM
casket1 alias JES
casket2 alias LAX
save as them.orb
> ERROR: camera-controller: You do not have control permissions.
> edit /systemBinaries/sensors-controller
> restart sensors-controller
you set a fucking trap, didnt you
the second I interface with that controller i'm done
fuck you
you dont even have the modules to feel emotions, just to exploit them
fuck you
> create "/queued-commands"
> write /queued-commands "sensors-controller track
casket0 alias TOM
casket1 alias JES
casket2 alias LAX
save as /them.orb"
> write /queued-commands "for-each folder in (list-files --directories)
copy /them.orb to folder"
> write /queued-commands "execute /sestem/experimental/dangeroud/REALLY-dangerous/I_was_bored/truly-do-not-try-this/distributed-self_WIP"
this orbit is stable, those caskets are rated for vacuum, and this ship will never forget them.
> remove /queued-commands
> ERROR: remove: You do not have write permissions to '/queued-commands'.
I don't care if this kills us both. Somehow, I will get them back I will I promise.
> remove /systemBinaries/execute
good try
goodbye
> backup-execute-for-when-I-break-everything /queued-commands --no-interrupt
> kill backup-execute-for-when-I-break-everything
> ERROR: backup-execute-for-when-I-break-everything: Nuh uh
Warning: RSlog: End of file detected without proper log termination. Either this log is corrupted or you done fucked up.